I watched this so that you don't have to - Real Housewives of Vancouver

So, a month or so back the hype machine of Real Housewives of Vancouver really hit.  And I will admit, it made me angry.  I think it was supposed to make me angry, so I guess mission accomplished.

Anyhow, I got a bit up in arms that they would glamourize the life of the wife of a should-have-been-convicted-of-murder gangster.  I can understand that they would want that notoriety.  But it still made me angry.  I had visions of watching this ridiculous shit so that I could cast shame down upon anything remotely attached to the show.  Luckily, I don't spend much time at Earl's or the Cactus Club, so it probably won't be an issue whatever happens.

So I watched this show.  And let's not fool ourselves, this show is shit and these women are idiots.  Just total fucking idiots whose redeeming qualities are buried way too far for television to see.

But I wasn't angry as I watched.  See, I think they want me to be angry.  I think they want all the rage and the "How could she!" and all the crap that goes along with it.  And the characters that these women play are just so superficially shallow that it's sad to watch.

Now, allow me to expand on that.  Yes, these woman are most likely a batch of tarts that I wouldn't wish to spend more than 5 minutes around.  But their TV character are even worse.  This show is just so painfully staged that it's hard to feel anything but sad for these ladies.  You can sense the producer off camera telling them that it's now time to argue.  You can see when he flips the switch and tells them to get drunk and act stupid.  And it's one thing for a poor loser to sell his soul for a television show.  But there's something much, much, much more troubling about a batch of people with more money than sense throwing their remaining shame away for the fame attached to a really crappy TV show.

So, I'm not going to let it bother me that these walking facelifts are poncing about town celebrating their 15th thirtieth birthday in a cloud of shame.  Just ignore them.  Please.  Ignore them.  And maybe they will go away.

Reddit Memes

I know.  I e-mailed you guys about this yesterday.  And you don't even care.  But it's just so funny and here it is again.

Lazy College Senior
Engineering Professor

Best of

This is the year that I really started to feel a bit old when it comes to music.  Like it was an effort to keep on top of things.  Like the kids are listening to bands I've never heard of.  I don't really like that. 


Songs (that didn't have albums to match)

Wugazi - Sleep Rules Everything Around Me

When I first heard about the Wugazi album I just freaked right out.  I had higher expectations, as a whole.  Sleep Rules Everything Around Me shows the promise of this concept.

Yacht - Shangri-La
This is my favourite song of 2011.  It reminds me of the slow jams that I listened to throughout my childhood.  Radio NL, the greatest hits of all time.  It's a bit Afternoon Delightish.  Just an extremely catchy and beautiful song.


Albums (the obvious ones)

Panda Bear - Tomboy and Atlas Sound - Parallax

I listened to both of these a lot.  See?  Obvious.


Albums (the less obvious ones)

Louis CK - Hilarious
Did this even come out this year?  I really enjoyed this album as it made me think about a few things for a few hours afterwards.  I can't really remember what they were, but it really resonated at the time.

Fucked Up - David Comes to Life
I remember trying to explain to somebody a few years ago that a great album can be created in just a few moments.  The 5 seconds in the middle of a song that make you want to listen to the whole album.  Of course, you need an album to support those 5 seconds.  Without the album, you're just going to yell at BTO to get "workin' overtime".  To dig way into the past, I think the Unicorns were a band that really captured these moments.  The Fiery Furnaces as well.  This album, while not quite on that level, does a spectacular job of capturing moments and sprinkling them throughout.

Wu Lyf - Go Tell Fire to the Mountain
This is really the only thing this year that came out of nowhere (well...Pitchfork) and got me really excited.  I honestly didn't know what language they were speaking the first time I heard it.  I was worried that the live show was going to bring the whole thing crashing down but it actually made everything better (although I've only listened to the album once since then).

See what I was saying at the top?  That's a pretty sad list right there.

THE BEST!! of 2011

Okay Dave, for posterity's sake, a top five:

- Thee Oh Sees, Castlemania. I played the hell out of this record all summer. Their double EP in November was icing on the cake. San Francisco garage rock had a big year, and even though Ty Segall gets most of the accolades, these guys are probably what he puts on when he's microwaving burritos.

- Ty Segall, Goodbye Bread. But then again Ty deserves some accolades.

- Girls, Father Son Holy Ghost. So I should just to move to San Francisco? But this album—-unassailable. On every point.

- The Psychic Paramount, II. Oh hi there post rock. Where you been? It's like when Megatron sort of died but then came back as Galvatron, bigger and more unhinged. Sure he was still just a handgun, so a little one dimensional, but he was a pretty kickass handgun.

- Wugazi, 13 Chambers. Mashups are a tired gimmick? Yes. This album is still impossible to turn off? Also yes.

(I should mention that this isn't really a “best of” so much as a “I liked this and played it a lot.” There is a difference. I also liked new albums by old favourites (Wire, Deerhoof, Feelies) well enough, and got pretty enthusiastic about old favourites with new/newish names (Wild Flag, Obits), and a little less but still enthusiastic about new (to me) bands with new (to me) names (Iceage, Trash Talk); I heard a bunch of indie (or easy listening?) bands mostly stick to formula, which is fine when the formula's okay (Antlers, Radiohead, Lykke Li, Gang Gang Dance, Cults, Atlas Sound, Panda Bear, Wilco), but disappointing when the formula didn't used to be quite so easy listening (The Rapture, TV on the Radio); I listened to a bunch of hip hop I found either too predictable (Lil B, Jay-Z/Kanye) or else pretty interesting, but missing the mark for some reason or another (Tyler the Creator, Death Grips, Das Racist, Danny Brown); I tried to like some American (ie. “false”) black metal, but failed (Wolves in the Throne Room, Liturgy); I tried not to like some NPR-approved singer songwriters, but failed again (Tom Waits, Sam Phillips, Bill Callahan); I spun some overrated genre exercises (Washed Out, Destroyer), and an underrated one (Dirtbombs), and some that were highly rated and deserved it (Tune-Yards, James Blake); I smiled at some competent rehashing of 80s electropop (Handsome Furs, HTRK, Drive sountrack, Gotye, Ladytron, M83). And I found myself surprisingly unconflicted about cheering for Lady Gaga, even though I only listened to her album once, if that. But she took a brave and genuinely compelling stand against homophobia in the year it was supposed to get better but didn't. I'm disappointed that her Shania track “You and I” wasn't picked up by country radio. But she made a lot of people a shit ton of money this year, so maybe try try again, and eventually the bible belt will erupt into one giant John Waters freakathon.

Sarah Daniels is the Worst

Sarah Daniels makes me so angry.  I realize that she's really a symptom of the problem and a physical object on which I can transfer my frustration...but she's just the worst.

If anybody doesn't know who Sarah Daniels is...well, she's a former Radio/TV traffic girl who went and got her real estate license and is now the Global BC real estate "Expert".  I don't know about you, but when I'm looking for expert advice on the real estate market I tend to turn to economists, accountants and the like.  But no, Global BC turns to a former traffic girl.  A former traffic girl who makes a living off the myth of an infallible Vancouver real estate.  Very impartial.

So, week after week I hear about how it's a "great time to buy".  Indeed, today her segment (Dunbar and White Rock - So hot!) followed a story about the potential collapse of the Euro zone.  Because the collapse of the (arguably) most powerful currency in the world couldn't have any impact on Vancouver Real Estate Prices*.  Because we have an ocean and a border and mountains!  Nowhere but up!

To make things even worse, her stupid, perky, ever-smiling face has a show on HGTV.  One of those terrible shows where they talk people who can't buy a television without financing into purchasing a condo somewhere.

I don't even know what to do about this.  I wish things like this didn't bother me.  I don't think an angry letter to Global BC will result in much.  I think I've already written one and they never seem to respond to my angry letters.  A Facebook anti-fan page?  Please.  Ideas.  This woman must be stopped.  Perhaps City TV will split the cost on an anti-Sarah Daniels billboard?  Oh...I really want to mock that up.

*Note - I thought about this for a while after I posted this.  I actually think that she might believe that a collapsing world economy will have a positive effect on Vancouver real estate. i.e. "There's no other good investments left in the world so everybody is going to come to Vancouver and buy a condo from me."

syllogism

1. All ruling politicians are frustrated by their critics and opponents.

2. All ruling politicians secretly wish for the kind of mindless devotion only pop stars get.

3. Most politicians are stuck working under democracy, a system that generates disagreement.
_______________________________________________________________

:. Any politician who sings in public is admitting that he—always he, somehow—wishes he were a dictator.

Exhibit A: Berlusconi just released an album.

Exhibit B: Robert Mugabe is a hit with the kids.

Exhibit C: Abdala Bucaram, Ecuador's most catastrophic president in recent memory, thinks he's Elvis.
And lest we forget,

Exhibit D: Majority government. Seriously.

Exhibit E: The fact that this man is possible is the reason I study American culture.

*** heard about all this on The Bugle. Thanks guys for sorting out my xmas shopping.

what's on repeat.

It's been a while since I've put up any music. Just single tracks this time, since I imagine we'll be talking at length about full albums when the best of 2011 arguments start. So here's a bit of a preview in five songs.



Johnny Guitar Watson, “Those Lonely Lonely Nights.” I don't get why people kept writing love songs after this.


My Head Explodes by nogoodnik
Ty Segall, “My Head Explodes.” So what if he stole the chords from Marcy Playground. Listen to what he does with them. Rockiest rock song of the year. Also listen to Segall's awesome explanation of it: "When you play music and you're a person on a stage, sometimes people can put you on a pedestal, and that can do a lot of things to your head. And... what if it actually exploded all over the walls during a show?"




Handsome Furs, “Memories of the Future.” Dave, I can feel your frown. But I don't care if Alexei is super annoying onstage. She's written terrific lyrics here. Nothing better than hearing Dan “Springsteen + Ocasek =” Boeckner, a guy who hates every song written after 1978 with equal and unrelenting intensity,* croon “Nostalgia never meant much to me.” Over 80s synth pop. That might sound dismissive, but I think the tension between lyrics and music here is actually really interesting. This band likes to write concept albums about the aftermath of totalitarianism; Sound Kapital is apparently inspired by a tour through Burma, and Face Control was about postcommunist Russia and Eastern Europe. So that terrible twentieth century tendency of regimes demolishing history and starting a nation and a culture over at year zero lays in the background here. But back to Dan singing Alexei's words: “I threw my hands to the sky, I let my memories go.” Nietzsche said forgetting isn't a mental lapse, but an active, deliberate thing societies must do to reinvent themselves. Freud said that willful forgetting is repression, where everything you tried to forget turns out to frame your existence in sneaky and unpredictable ways. I listen to this and remember a few of the many things I've forgotten--things that, like the anxious, glitchy backbone of this song, shape everything, and aren't too hard to spot or source.



Antlers, "Corsicana." This is not exactly what I thought their new album would sound like. It's just so... pretty. And the lyrics are filled with spite and broken bodies. I'd call that a winning combination.


Wild Flag - Future Crimes by Music Meds
Wild Flag, “Future Crimes.” One day I'll get past my Carrie Brownstein fanboy crush. Just probably not anytime soon.


And since one of the five is obviously not from 2011, a bonus cut from my daughter's playlist, which is what I'm listening to most of the time anyway:

10 Heigh-Ho Whistle While You Work (from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) by PantsDanced
Brian Wilson, “Heigh Ho/Whistle While You Work/Yo Ho.” I know right, did you hear the one about the lobotomized pop god who called his record company and said I want to make an album of Disney covers? But seriously listen to this. Brian Wilson's whole career was building up to these three and a half minutes. It's perfect. Somewhere between Walt Disney and Brian Wilson, California convinced the world to accept its hokey grotesquerie as mass culture. This song makes it all sound grotesque again. So thanks for that, Brian.


*I doubt Boeckner's ever said as much in an interview, but I have it on pretty good authority that he's said it.